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It's been a while...again

Journal Entry: Sun Nov 27, 2016, 5:16 PM


((LOL so, I've noticed that whenever I saw "no one will read this" people actually respond to me. So uhh.........no one will read this. And I actually mean that lol.))

Hello hello, I haven't been active on here recently, so I guess this is an update. Not...that anyone cares that much LOL but I've been gone for a different reason this time so I guess I'll explain a little bit. :P Might as well. TL;DR I don't like dA anymore, mostly because I don't like the way it's laid out, as a website. I don't know when I'll be active again.

I've actually been drawing a lot! In fact, I'm kind of weirded out to see that my most recent submissions are kind of old and gross to me now. :,) I've mostly been posting my art on Splatoon Amino (if you haven't heard of it, it's a community app, only on mobile I believe) and a little bit on tumblr. I actually made an art blog.

I just haven't been using deviantART because I don't meet or even talk to people on here anymore, and I'm not fond of the website's interface. At all. >:( Plus, I'm kind of trying to start anew with my art "career" so I feel really put off by having really old art in my gallery that I really don't like anymore. At the same time, I feel like some people might still like my old stuff and don't want me to remove it, which I can understand.

DA honestly feels obsolete because it's not really meant for sharing art, and sharing art is really important! I mean, how else will artists have their name spread around? How are they supposed to get noticed enough to receive commission offers and whatnot? The dA staff keep trying to redesign this interface, but I feel like it keeps getting worse. :P It's not fun to use anymore. Honestly, the only reason it was ever fun was because dA was my life, and I was younger, and I was actually learning the basics of how html works from this site.

Uh, oh yeah, on another note I'm in college now. So that's a thing I guess.

Feel free to talk to me and stuff, I'll be periodically checking on things here, but I won't be posting a lot of art for a while. :] That wraps it up I suppose.

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  • Listening to: Splatoon OST
  • Reading: my own dumb Sploon fanfiction :P
  • Playing: Splatoon, Overwatch
  • Eating: ...i haven't eaten today. sheit.
  • Drinking: cold coffee x(
This thing is going around, and I'm only doing it so I can tag people, to be honest lollll. I feel weird publicly talking about any of my characters, especially the new ones, but FUCK IT here goes nothing.

Tagged by no one because I am unloved ;-; lol

1.) Post the rules.
2.) Post 8 facts about your character. 
3.) Tag 8 some amount of other characters.
4.) Post their names along with their creator's avatar. (Nah)



Character: Cucumber Oishī

1.) Ummmm she's an Inkling. (If you don't play Splatoon, some of these facts probably won't make much sense LOL but, please, play the game it's focking great)

2.) She mains the Heavy Splattling, but likes a variety of weapons, especially shooters.

3.) She is the leader of a fairly competitive squad and has an A+ rank.

4.) Her Myers Briggs personality is ENFJ and her horoscope is Aries.

5.) She's gay. :P

6.) She is generally confident in her own skills, but as a perfectionist, occasionally gets insecure if things don't go the way she would like to in a turf war. So, basically she blames it on herself. Typical ENFJ quality, actually, lol.

7.) Her nickname is Cucu (pronounced like cue-cue or Q-Q). (Lol, I accidentally made a crying emoticon wtf)

8.) Umm (I don't know what else) her fave color is lime green, so I guess when the squad is that color for a match she's like, "yaaaas lets kick some ass today!" :XD:

TAGS: Ummm :iconthebloodysouls: and :iconjeseppi2: and anyone else who wants to do this! You can just say I tagged you in your journal, because I love everyone that reads my journals. ;u; Have fun!

(For the people I actively tagged, I don't know which character you should do, you both have so many I CANT CHOOSE)
Wanna see some cool art?


This talent tho....look through this chick's gallery IT'S HELLA GREAT


Oh, also
When you get way too into Splatoon so you end up making Inkling characters. SIGHHH

Like, I know I needed to make my own characters, but Inklings? It feels so unoriginal to me. It's more the setting that makes it easier to make Inkling characters. I mean, Splatoon is so void of angst for the most part, so making characters that fit in that setting is super fun! The little angst my characters Inklings have is only created by, well, being a teenager, and getting frustrated when that one guy with the E-liter keeps getting you...

I haven't written a journal in weeks. .__. I'm not dead, I just...haven't been drawing much. Even though that was my New Years resolution. >_> Maybe by the end of this month?? Who knows, maybe I'll be a sinner and post some of my weird Inkling characters. They are weird but...they really are lovable. :heart: Trust me. ;)
  • Listening to: a muffled movie downstairs... :T
  • Reading: A book from school -.-
  • Playing: Splatoon (duh)
So, SEGA apparently cares what people think about their games all the sudden, so they want people to take this survey: sgiz.mobi/s3/a6153476587f Tell me if the link doesn't work.

I already took this survey myself, and it only took about 10 minutes. I really hope this actually somehow affect what SEGA makes in the future. Although, tbh, they're basically just fucking up Sonic right now (and probably giving it too much attention), but not really anything else. Didn't Shemue 3 just come out? I know people were waiting for that for a while.

Even though Sonic is basically dead, they could still maybe redeem the series and make something awesome with it. I doubt it though. Sonic lost its spark years ago imo, and the gameplay hasn't been really good since, like, 1994 lol.

Oh, and this isn't related but, y'all should play Splatoon with me....friend me on miiverse. >u> Username is 67yroldhobo.
  • Listening to: crickets uvu
  • Playing: Splatoon
  • Drinking: water
Hey, I have some news that a lot of you will actually be excited about! I'm finally continuing my Shadow and Silver journals! :D

I have probably said that I wasn't going to continue the journals, but that's changed since I've read over them and gained a new interest for the story. I actually have a nice amount of ideas for what will happen next. I will admit that those ideas aren't completely fleshed out, but having this amount of plans is very reassuring for a writer.

There is a little bit of bad news, but it will be resolved rather soon: I won't be posting right after I post this journal. You see, with the journals I need to post the entries for both Shadow and Silver that correlate to the same place in the timeline. I have plenty of entries of Silver's ready to go, but I'm quite behind on Shadow's.

This is for multiple reasons, one of them being that I actually started the series with Silver's journals and added Shadow's much later on in the process. Secondly, Silver is much more...talkative than Shadow, so there is much more content to post online. And, naturally, Silver has much more to write about about in the first place since the whole theme of his journal is that he's growing up and a lot of stuff is going on for him. Shadow's theme is a little harder to work with since it has much more to do with his inner thoughts.

Eh, all of this talk about the series sounds too pretentious for me so I'll stop. This project is getting much larger than I anticipated, though. Especially since I started it more than a year and a half ago...

Anyway, I really really hope to post at least one more chapter of the series by the end of the week. That is, if I have time to write in that amount of time. :stare: My iPad is still dead, so it's a little hard to use my mom's computer as often as I wish I could. Plus Splatfest is this Saturday. :XD: If you don't know what that is look it up. Or just ask me in the comments lol.

Every damn time I write a journal it ends up being hella long. ^^; Don'y hesitate to leave a comment! I will always love feedback. :) Also, have a nice day. :aww:
  • Listening to: Portal 2 music (not fitting at all lol)
  • Reading: a story my bff is writing
  • Watching: ?
  • Playing: Splatoon (wayyy too much omg)
  • Drinking: mocha~
I've been dead again but that's not important right now because this journal is about something interesting for once! :D

I know I'm about 20 years late to say this, but Sonic 3 & Knuckles is GOOOD. JESUS CHRIST. It's almost embarrassing to realize that so late, but to be fair I was born in 1998.

I will admit that I have never truly given classic Sonic games the attention that they deserve until the past week or so. I know, I'm a demon. ;A; Although I don't have a Genesis, I have a game called Sonic Mega Collection Plus for the PS2, which I'm sure some of you have heard of before. I also have the Xbox 360 release of Sonic CD, since that game isn't on Mega Collection.

The other day my brother started up the PS2 because we were bored, and I recommended that he try Sonic 3, but this time I remembered hearing that you can plug in a second controller in order to be Tails! I think the multiplayer somehow gave us the patience to try and beat the game all the way through. Unfortunately, my bro couldn't beat the boss at the end, but I ended up beating it the next day.

Enough story telling! My point is that I have actually gone through an entire classic Sonic game. And do you know what that means? No, of course not, because I don't talk to people often enough about myself. ._. Anyway, it means that I pretty much have to review Sonic 3, because I love reviewing stuff that I've beaten. My rule is that I have to beat a game before I judge it.

Except there's sort of a catch. Actually there's a couple catches. First of all, I didn't beat the game by myself so it's a bit illegitimate. And, second, I haven't actually played through Sonic 3 & Knuckles, which was the intended full version of the game. I mean, who is going to review Sonic 3 or S&K by themselves when they're clearly supposed to be one game?

So, I guess I'm not going to review that yet. And this time I won't whine too much if no one reads my review this time around because I write partly just to look back on my opinions later on. But I would still really love to have a discussion about games! I very much appreciated the comments on my journal about Sonic Colors and Sonic Lost World. They were really insightful, and I look forward to more responses like those in the future!

This journal kind of went nowhere, but I guess what I mean to say is that I have gained a new appreciation for the classic Sonic games. This doesn't mean I like all of them, but at least I know more about this era of Sonic games.

Also, I saw a review for Sonic Battle that kind of inspired me to make my own review of that game since I've beaten it a long time ago and know that game pretty damn well by now. I think the internet needs more Battle reviews, honestly. Hopefully I'll get on that review soon, even though not many people have played that game.
  • Listening to: sonic 3 & knuckles music...of course lol
  • Reading: an essay I'm supposed to finish by today xD
  • Watching: game reviews
  • Playing: sonic 3 & knuckles
I've been dead xD

Idk why I'm writing this because I won't be posting any art soon, or maybe ever again. Who knows, we'll see. :P

That sounded super bleak (sorry lol) but I just don't enjoy dA or tumblr much anymore. -.- I have 3,600 plus messages on here and I'm not going to go through them...because fuck dat. :stare:

But, seriously, I've been extremely lazy for this entire past year, so it's no surprise that I'm saying that I won't post stuff anymore.

Wow, none of this makes much sense, but fuck editing.... LEL

Anyway, I've been lazy because life seems completely hopeless at this point. xD But it's hopeless in the way that success is right there, but you know you'll never get it. Sorry for being so negative. ;n; But at this point I've just let go of all the angst that would normally come with this pessimism because....idk, I'm going to die one day anyway, so who cares. 8T (I'm making up a bunch of emoticons lol)

I feel like I'm being a jerk because of this journal but, oh well, these are my feels apparently xD

Anyway....bai for now. I'll try to remember to keep in touch with y'all. Ifyouwanttoforsomereasonlol... I know some of you strangely enjoy my company, so I'll stick around for you guys. xD

Have a good life. uvu Just because I'm hopeless it doesn't mean you have to stoop as low as me so DO YOUR BEST IN LIFE! cornymessagelolbutitstrue
  • Listening to: water flame (an artist, not a song)
  • Reading: nothing ;n;
  • Playing: GEOMETRY DASH! OMG THE BEST THING EVER sorry
  • Eating: dick (lol jk)
  • Drinking: .....you can guess XD
  • Listening to: Umineko BGM
  • Reading: Warriors don't Cry (it's for school but I love it)
  • Watching: butts (just kidding I wish)
  • Playing: Minecraft
  • Eating: life
  • Drinking: air
Yay, complaining!!!!!! :dummy:

So, I feel like my art style is gross. Well, I will admit that I like the way that I draw humans, but I just can't draw Sonic characters right, and I don't know why. I think it's because I try and give them more human-like anatomy, but they end up looking creepy. So how do other people do that??? Like, I don't understand oh my goshhh.

Actually, if I'm really honest I'm starting to actually like my art style, even with Sonic characters. Yeah, that's really contradictory, I know. But my art still bothers me because I know it's ugly to other people because my art style is pretty unique. Most people that draw Sonic characters with human-like anatomy give them more similar proportions to humans (maybe about 7 heads tall). I, on the other hand, give them proportions more akin to how they look in the games (I draw them 5 heads tall, but in the games they're about 3 to 4 heads). Maybe that's the problem. I don't know.

Why do I bother with life. :XD: I am such a lonely meme and I don't do jack shit lol. God help me.

Oh yeah, and if you don't like my art style don't lie and comment that you do, ok? And don't tell me that you don't like it unless you have a real reason, unlike most people who tell me that... -.-;; If you can tell me why you don't like it, then I'm totally ok with it, and would actually appreciate it.

I will shut up now fnsdhibvdsbkhcbjsabv
  • Listening to: weird people outside and their shit music
  • Playing: Minecraft
  • Eating: Pb and J
  • Drinking: water
Wow, I can't believe I haven't said this on dA yet. :XD:

But, anyway, I have Minecraft again! To be honest, I don't remember saying I didn't have Minecraft at one point (oops), but I know I complained about it on tumblr because I missed Minecraft SO BAD because I am obsessed with that game lol.

Soooo if anyone wants to play on a server with me, that would be cool, but I can't make my own server right now, because I am currently using my mom's computer to play on. So, either you have to add me to your server, or we can get on a different host's server together!

That reminds me, my friend has a server and he wants more people to join, so if anyone is interested in that, tell me! The only problem is that it's not open all the time, so you kind of just have to check when the server is open... Or I can note you telling when it's open. I don't know, I won't bother sorting out that issue until someone shows interest.

Besides that little issue, the server is pretty nice because it doesn't lag much at all (unless your internet connection is bad, of course). Plus, their is already at least 5 people involved with it, and we are all awesome. :XD: Don't judge me, I'm just trying to get people to join

I guess that is all! I really hope someone is interested in playing Minecraft with me, because multiplayer is funnnn. I should probably post this on tumblr too, or something.

Have a nice day, peeps!
  • Listening to: weird people outside and their shit music
  • Playing: Minecraft
  • Eating: Pb and J
  • Drinking: water
So, I don't like most of my gallery anymore but there's this one picture I HATE. Even though most people seem to like it, I can't even look at it, it's so bad. So...I'm thinking of deleting it, but I don't want to regret it, so I'm not too sure yet. But I'm in no hurry to get rid of it.

By the way, it's this picture Shadilver by edo67

:rage:

So, ummmm, yeah that's it. Byeeeee
  • Watching: videos about Sonic (massive nerd lol)
  • Playing: ...the game I just talked about
  • Drinking: water
Some weird stuff happened in the past couple days.

Yesterday, I finally decided the set up my Wii U that I finally got the right cable for around Christmas. So, I was trying out the four games I have for it, and Sonic Colors (Wii) was probably the first one I tried out.

Naturally, since Sonic Colors is generally loved by gamers and it basically saved Sonic after his "dark age," I expected to love it like they did, especially since I enjoyed the DS version of Colors which I've owned for a couple years now. But...let's just say I haven't been loving it. I won't get into it, though, since I tell myself I have to review games after I've finished them, and I'm nowhere near finished with Colors. But, anyway, I expected to absolutely adore Sonic Colors, even at the beginning, but that's not happening so far.

So, I was messing around with Super Mario Bros U when I decided to try out Sonic Lost World. To be honest, after watching the gameplay for Lost World, I was prepared to dislike it. Not hate it, but I figured I wouldn't be too fond of it. Instead I fell in love with it.

Ok, not "love," but I was instantly hooked. Not only did I enjoy it more than I thought I would, but I think I enjoyed it more than most people who have played it. Lost World got medium reception, but so far I would rate it at least a 7.5 out of 10. So far.

No one is going to read this, but I like writing things similar to reviews because I kind of like looking back at them. Plus, I have a lot of thought going through my mind about all the Sonic games and the general direction of the series for a few reasons (plus it's 3:30am lol).

Oh, and in case you were wondering what the fourth game I got was, it's Sonic and the Black Knight. I have absolutely no comment on that one, though, since I never bought a Wii nunchuck, so I can't play it yet. :XD: Oh well, I don't know if I'll like the gameplay much anyway. From what I know about it, I mainly like SatBK for the story (which I LOVE by the way).

And, another thing! I'm not buying Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric until the price drops a lot, because that game is almost worthless to me. From what I know, there's hardly a thing good about that game (even though I'm obsessed with the show OH MY GOD).

BYE FINALLY I'M DONE SORRY IF YOU ACTUALLY READ THIS
  • Listening to: my computer NOT FUNCTIONING
  • Reading: The Great Gatsby..?
  • Watching: Game Grumps playing Sonic Boom XD
  • Playing: Sonic Adventure
  • Drinking: water
     Spoilers, maybe? To Sonic Boom and... I don't know maybe Sonic Adventure, but wtf that game is ancient.
     Anyway, I finally bought Sonic Adventure...and I'm already stuck as to what to do. *shot* Yeeeah, I'm a bit burnt out on hub worlds. And the first thing you play is a boss...? In fact, I've beaten two bosses and only one normal level so far. :o
     I've heard that the characters move around mostly the same in the two Adventure games, but that's not true. :XD: Adventure feels a bit slow compared to its sequel.
     Since I don't like change too much, naturally Adventure feels very jarring, as I expected it to be like Adventure 2. Maybe I'm just turned off by it because I've never been into the story. Hopefully it doesn't  have plot holes like Sonic Adventure 2 though. :dummy:
     ...so yeah that's it. Also, once I get Sonic Boom Rise of Lyric I'll write a review on it. I'll try and finish the whole thing first, though, because that's only fair, y'know? But if it takes too long to beat, I might just give up and wrote a review on it anyway.
     I hate to say it, but I'm not liking what I'm hearing and seeing about Rise of Lyric's gameplay...and story...and Shadow?? Get out of here! Jeez!! I've watched all of the cutscene to both games, by the way, so I know basically everything. Just throwing that out there.
     Sooo tell me what you think about Sonic Boom! Not really the show, because I really like it (and confident of that), but more about the games. I know most people hate it, but my watchers tend to be different.
     Oh yeah! And a happy belated birthday to, my baby, Silver. :heart: I was going to draw him, but I ran out of time. :(
     Have a nice day, y'all~
I wouldn't really call this an "update" but if it makes you any happier you can call it that.
     Soooo, I won't be posting art for a while...again. Jeez, it's like the main reason I write journals in the first place is just to validate why I won't be posting art any time soon. :XD: Anyway, school is taking much more effort than expected this year, so i don't have much leisure time anymore. Actually, I'm not sure if it's that, or if I'm just too lazy not motivated enough to do my homework on time.
     Fortunately, though, since I'm taking an art class this year I'll probably be a bit more inspired; I have been so far. But, the bad new is, my art teacher sucks. She's actually a substitute for the actual teacher for at least the rest of the semester. She isn't very open-minded about art. Hmm art + not open-minded person = WHY THE FUCK. Whatever, I'm not surprised. I didn't want to take an art class for that very reason, but I need the credits.
     In other news I might be in a relationship soon! Exciting!! For me, anyway. I feel like I have to write about it because I've been thinking about the guy recently because he doesn't have a phone right now. So, basically the only reason I'm writing this journal in the first place is because I'm in a shitty mood. Sigh. That's usually the reason, by the way. I guess most of my journals have "feels" in them anyway, so it's not like no one noticed the pattern. :XD:
     Aaaaand I guess that's it! I can't believe how short this journal is since I'm one to write long ones. Oh, and by the way, there are bound to be more typos than usual because I'm not using my iPad so I don't have auto-correct or auto-capitalization or anything. :|
     Have a good day y'all~
What is wrong with meeeee?

Guys, I haven't written or drawn in a very long time, so I know I'm probably boring you a bit, especially since I gained a lot of watchers when I was really active. Now I'm doing nothing. Sigh.

I'm so damn bored and uninspired. Then again, I've always been uninspired. Seriously, look through my gallery and show me something original. :XD: The real reason I haven't been drawing or writing is more because I have no ideas, not because I don't like how it comes out (although that reason doesn't help either).

I hope someone commissions me soon. Or, like, some time.... I don't know. Commissions have always been open on here. The prices are on my dA profile page. They're extremely cheap. So cheap that they won't help me with anything. Sigh... Maybe I should get a PayPal. I really should. Unless you have to be over 18? I don't know.

I don't know what the point of writing this was. Oh yeah, school starts September 2 for me. Really late. I can't wait for it to start though.
Ok, I thought I've read some messed up fanfictions, but this one gets the fucking cake. Jesus Christ.

I can't even explain the plot. It's just... Eugh. The worst thing is that when I read the reviews everyone loved it. So, am I crazy for thinking that this is really fucked up?

If you want to read it, here: www.fanfiction.net/s/7080071/1… If you want to see my point more quickly, you really only need to read the first and last chapters. The rest is basically nonsense, and the last chapter I will never forget because, frankly, it's disturbing. And I don't even think it's meant to be. But, to be honest, if someone can't see how this is messed up, then they must have brain damage. God.

How can anyone write this...? Just...I'm bewildered. I'm just so shocked and grossed out. What has the world come to that this is acceptable?? How is this ok? I just don't...sigh.

I honestly really really want people to read this because I can't stand to feel alone on this topic. The first chapter is already bad, but the last is just...nevermind. Find out for yourself. Enough ranting. Sorry.

Also, I know who the author is (not personally), and she's on dA. She's pretty popular I think.
Happy birthday, dA! :cake: I can't believe you're only two years younger than me. :o

Anyway, I know I found about dA from :iconbullshittakemushroom: In fact, I learned about basically everything that is now my life from her...huh.

I know I've been a member on here for at least three years, which disappoints me because it feels like at least five! Plus it's sad to think that the first things uploaded on this account are only three years old, since they're so shitty. :XD: Good times, though... It's fun to be oblivious to making such crap. :lol:

Anyway, I don't think I was ever that active on here (since I only did traditional art and didn't have a scanner) until about a year and a half ago. That's when I started getting into digital art, and my skills really started to improve. That's also when I started joining groups, which is why I have so many watchers! I didn't really have internet friends on dA until recently, and for meeting new people I'm grateful. :aww:

A lot of relationships from here have come and gone, and don't last too long, but some others have stayed for a while! :D I think I'd be kind if lonely if it wasn't for dA, and I've learned a lot from this website and its community. Not just about art itself, but about other websites (Inkbunny, Tumblr...), a little bit about computer shortcuts and coding, writing techniques, and even about how people work! It's really quite amazing, huh?

This website used to be my whole life. And by "used to" I mean only a couple months ago! Now, since I haven't been making art as much, not many people comment on my stuff, etc (that's to be expected lol). DA is still really important to me, though, because I know a lot of people on here and I can't post my art in many other places!

Wow, this got long... Sorry! So anyway, thank you, dA for helping me and, quite frankly, changing my life and even giving me a little more confidence! Happy 14th! :heart:
Hey, everybody~
     I haven't been uploading stuff for a few reasons: being on Tumblr too much, and because I've been feeling crappy lately. And, strangely enough, the two are related...

     Tumblr is a depressing place. In my opinion, at least.
     For one thing, all the feminist posts, etc get very tiresome, even the ones I agree with (because I just see them so often it drains me lol).
     For another thing, I don't think I fit in at Tumblr. I don't really want to fit in (because I don't really like people there) but I still feel alienated, y'know?
     Third of all, I see some amazing art on there, which makes my art look like shit (as if I didn't dislike my art enough) in comparison. I see better stuff on Tumblr then on deviantART which is so weird, because dA is actually meant for art. :|
     Fourth, Tumblr is so fucking addicting! And it's not fair because it makes me less progressive in life, and the content probably isn't very worth my time. The thing is, with Tumblr you pretty much have to be online 24/7 because of the way it works. For Tumblr users here, you know what I'm talking about. If you don't use Tumblr, well, too bad I'm not explaining. Too tired.

     ...So that's why Tumblr is related to me feeling like crap. Yay.
     But, I guess it's not really Tumblr's fault? Well, I'm not blaming it in the first place because that would be so hypocritical lol. Anyway, I feel like my... "sour-mood-ness" is getting worse for some reason. I've been trying too hard to separate myself form others, I suppose. It's quite sad.
     I blame my past, though. I've learned a lot of things about society the hard way, and I'm not about to let them take advantage of me again. Like they say, "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice..." you know the rest. I know you're supposed to forget the past, but I just explained that I've learned things from it that I'm not about to forget. So...bleh.
     Actually, I lied, I do forget the things I've learned, and it never comes out good. "Forget about your past," they say. Bah.
     Whatever. I have no friends, so I think this is just a journal to myself. Sorry for feels, but...wait, ok, why am I apologizing?? Wait a god damn second, do you realize? I can't talk about this shit to literally anyone. Not a single person. For most people, it's the same reason why I can't talk to them about it, but for others it's just a different reason, but either way I still can't. Sigh.
     I know I sound like a drama queen, but not only can I not talk about my problems, I can't even talk about the things that make me happy to other people because they don't understand those particular things. And I'm not desperate for friends, either, I'm desperate for people who are worth my time! Call me picky, but if I'm not picky I become sad or angry!!!
     And the worst part of all of this, is that I'm just a teenage girl living in the suburbs who doesn't have any real problems. I don't get abused. I don't struggle with grades. I don't physically harm myself, and I'm not suicidal. I haven't been diagnosed with depression or even anxiety. And, even if I was, it doesn't matter because I don't have it as bad as most people I know! If I was happier I could help those people instead of complaining about my nonexistent problems! So why aren't I happy??
     I can't even think of someone who doesn't have it worse than me. And even some of them can still be productive and optimistic. And part of the reason I'm saddened is because I worry so much about my friends, but I can't help them very much because I don't know jack shit about what they're suffering through.
     And, sometimes, I even wonder if they don't like me enough to accept my affection. That sentence made it sound like it's their fault, bit that's not what I mean. Like, just because I consider someone my "friend" or even my "best friend" it doesn't mean they feel the same about me. In fact, chances are they don't. Because I am extremely flawed. In every way. Just try me. Just say, "No you're not flawed in this one thing—" and I will interrupt you with, "Nope. I'm bad at that too. Here's proof. *shows proof*"
     ...do you see how long this is? It's because I've been holding that back. All of it. Fuck. And I still can only type this stuff, I can't say it out loud, because I suck at talking. Whatever. I'll probably regret it all tomorrow as usual.
     And, honestly, truly, I would love if people read this whole thing. And cared. Because I'm an attention whore. There, I fucking admitted it. Supposedly, it's not bad for humans to want attention like this, but I get negative consequences from doing this, so...proved that wrong. I guess. I don't know, I'm tired, ok? This is literally my only way to vent, so bear the fuck with me, please.
     Ok, I think I, done. Bye. Oh yeah, have a good day, too. Hopefully better than mine. :stare:
  • Reading: The Jesus Injection
  • Playing: Metroid Fusion
  • Eating: apples
  • Drinking: water
I finally have 100+ watchers! Thanks guys! :hug:

I'll do something special again, but last time (when I had 100 deviations) only a couple people told me what they thought would be cool. So, now, I'm going to do something different since I'm always drawing Sonic stuff. I think I'll draw something for a different fandom since I know my watchers don't just like Sonic. Any ideas?

I was thinking something Portal related since I got a request for that, thought it was a good idea, but never followed through with it. ;A; But any other ideas would be nice. :aww: I'll need to practice drawing different things (besides humans and Mobians) before I make the special deviation though. I haven't even drawn Wheatley for a loooong time. :o

Thanks for reading! :D
  • Reading: The Jesus Injection
  • Watching: THIS SEXY VIDEO
  • Playing: Metroid Fusion
  • Drinking: coffee
This is officially the best thing ever. The person that made this is so talented. I CAN'T HOLD BACK MY LOVE FOR THIS. SOMEONE MUST JOIN ME IN THE OBSESSION WITH THIS VIDEO. :XD: